Sunday, March 08, 2015

Dear pillow, sorry for all the tears...

Hey Blogger-ers?!?!

Well how are we all?  How was your weekend? Do anything special? Literally all I did was coursework. I swear that's all i do atm! But I mean 3 weeks till the Easter Holidays then a 2 week break, fab! A long break is seriously what i need! I just get run down and out of energy so quickly at the moment that I just can't do anything right! But yesterday however, I must have had a decent night sleep on Friday because i woke up with so much energy! I was wide awake at 8am! YES... 8 in the morning on a weekend! I was too wide awake to stay in bed so I went downstairs and made myself a coffee (like I needed that extra caffeine anyways?!) I then went back to bed and wrote my post about my Netflix favourites! I hadn't even intended to make the post that long! Anyway so then 2 hours later still in ma onesie, I had a sudden urge to completely clean my room! Re-arranged everything, opened my window to let fresh air in, hovered and in the end it looked clean as could be!

Is it me or can you guys get a lot more jobs done when you're in ya PJ's or onesie?! I dunno what it is, but I just feel like I get so much more done when I'm in them! I suppose its the cosy-ness? That's not even a word, or is it? Have I just spelt it wrong? Aha! I don't even know, and you know what I don't care, I'm just way too tired and the thought of school tomorrow makes me more tired!

School. Well where to begin? I don't even know if ive told you but I'm in sixth form now! I mean, i may not look it but I'm in Year 12! So much different to GCSE, for starters you get treated so much better, it's like the teachers think you're a changed person but in reality I'm not. I'm just the same person as i was a year ago! Still an emotional wreck too!

Had one of those emotional days the other week. Do you have those days where you just feel down for no reason?! I don't know what triggers it, or what affects me but i just know from as soon as i wake up, I'm gunna be grumpy, sad, and just not sociable. I hate it, especially when i just break down in tears. I want to have a reason to cry, but there shouldn't have to be a reason to cry should there. You can cry when you, where ever you want and no one should judge you for that. Whenever you want to cry, don't stop yourself, if you're at home, go upstairs, curl into your bed and just let them tears run away. you shouldn't have to hide them, its nothing to be ashamed off. If someone asks you whats wrong, just say "I don't know",  they're not going to make judgement, they want to help, cheer you up. Honestly, i don't know what I'd do without my friend G, I just message her when I'm sad, and shes always on the other side of the phone to chat.

Wow, getting emotional writing this, I think part of it is that last year was such a hard time in my life. So many changes, events and emotional roller coasters happened. It didn't help, that i had my exams around the same time, that time i needed to be strong! Since the start of that year things went from bad to worse, from my relatives being in hospital and being very ill, to being bullied at school by two people who were once very close to me. It didn't help that the stress contributed to all of this and that every night id just come home and cry myself to sleep.
I have to say, I never want that to  happen to me again, and for ever who is experiencing that now, we all need to be there to support them and to be a shoulder to cry on. Or maybe you're the one who's going through this rough time, if so tell someone how you're feeling, have some time to yourself, and get plenty of sleep. I promise you it'll get better and if you ever need someone to chat to, I'm always an email away:)

So..umm, yeah, a sad topic to talk about, but i feel people need to know they aren't alone and that theres loads of support out there for them! Any questions are welcome and thank you for reading this my lovelys:)x

A Teenagers' Life

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